Beyoncé: *purchases new laptop and uses it for the first time*
The FBI Agent that’s assigned to her:
- 5 years ago
- 177736
- Me:*sneaking back stage*
- Cal:*coming around the corner and sees me* Uh
- Me:I am invisible, you don't see me
- Cal:I see you
- Me:*sings* Who am I, Who Am I...Invisible
- Cal:ur not invisible
- Me:*points behind him* oh my godd look at that cute fluffy pupper
- Cal:*turns around*
- Me:*runs off*
- Cal:*looks back where i was* wow
- 6 years ago
- 868
- My kid:I want to drop out of high school
- Me:Let me tell u a story about this band
- My kid:Uh okay..dont know how this is relevant.
- Me:One guy in this band thought flip flops were thongs
- My kid:How is this relevant to my question
- Me:Let me finish, that same guy thought the possibilities were endless and the drummer thought tadpoles were baby turtles
- My kid:Mom answer my question.
- Me:They dropped out of High school. Dont become luke and ashton.
- My kid:ill ask dad.
- Me:He was in the band. He was the bassist he said some dumb shit to
- 6 years ago
- 4765
mf3a:
MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY MICHAEL IS HAPPY
THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
- 6 years ago
- 1743
- My kid:I want to drop out of high school
- Me:Let me tell u a story about this band
- My kid:Uh okay..dont know how this is relevant.
- Me:One guy in this band thought flip flops were thongs
- My kid:How is this relevant to my question
- Me:Let me finish, that same guy thought the possibilities were endless and the drummer thought tadpoles were baby turtles
- My kid:Mom answer my question.
- Me:They dropped out of High school. Dont become luke and ashton.
- My kid:ill ask dad.
- Me:He was in the band. He was the bassist he said some dumb shit to
- 6 years ago
- 4765
remember that sasuke figurine that could hold up like literally fricking anythign
And my personal favorite
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
This is one of my favorite posts on this goddamn site.
- 6 years ago
- 944255
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed
This is legit and people don’t realize it.
“hey what are you doing?”
“nothing”
“oh great! so you are avaliab-”
“no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.”
- 7 years ago
- 665172
Just a reminder that you’re whole without someone else. You are not a fraction. You’re a complete masterpiece all by yourself.
http://twitter.com/goodquoteco (via kushandwizdom)- 7 years ago
- 41729